I encountered a strange situation today. I had a response to the singer ad, initially positive, but he later changed his mind because he thought the music wasn't the same direction that he wanted to go in. Fair enough; but why respond in the first place? Its a bit like going for a job in a fishmongers, if you can't stand fish. Forming original bands isn't much like forming cover bands, or other areas in the arts, like acting; where if you're trying to get a gig or land a role, you might as well apply for fifty castings and see which three get back to you. There isn't some obligation for equal-opportunities, where the wrong candidate is going to get a gig (except perhaps white actors playing Jesus).

You'll notice that the URL for this website is dangarland.ME.uk, not dangarland.YOU.uk. One day, I'll probably get around to making such a site; where I find out each individual listener's tastes, and create a remix down to their specific preferences, and send them out a personally signed CD which they can listen to in the bath that I run them whilst I massage their G-Spot. I'll let 'em upload their own music, which I'll just dance along to. I'll let users decide what I should look like, choosing my eye colour, height, torso, skin colour and hairdo, like a Second Life avatar; and use it for my profile picture.

Thing is, there is no point visiting this site, or most blogs for that matter, and thinking "what is there for me, how can this site gratify me?". Its a place where I upload tracks to, which I work on in my spare time. You'll notice there is no 'buy', 'add to basket' nor 'checkout' buttons; only places where you can leave me feedback. I don't get paid, and I'm not a professional. That may change, of course. I'm working with a producer who takes ideas and makes them sound like opium, but I like to hammer out ideas and let my friends hear them. Its a website, if you don't like it, move along!

I believe that the Internet has more purpose than merely buying stuff, watching the same television but on a smaller screen or broadcasting in one-hundred-and-forty-characters-or-less. For me, one way I use it is to have a place that is completely non-corporate, with no-one snooping my e-mail or data-mining my habits, to use as a platform to express my creativity. I'm not presenting this website with a picture of me in sepia, my name sprawling across in calligraphy hand-writing, accompanied by a review of why I'm the best thing since sex without a condom; I'm just me. I'm probably a completely hopeless fuck-wit when it comes to marketing, presentation and so on but that only makes for a more perfect representation of who I really am.

I'm also using it to find people to collaborate with. If you like what you hear, great! Get in touch... but also bear in mind that I have around fifty songs that I haven't had time to create yet, and some are co-written with my producer so I can't just stick them up here for you to listen to... I am working on some more things though so please keep your ears open and free of wax.

On the other hand, its clearly not good enough to be a musician with any kind of ambition and disregard what people think. Particularly as a pianist, I feel this contradiction sharply; what is quite capable of making me happy on my own, becomes a burdensome and rigourous daily assault on my state of mind when attempting to bring it to others; worrying about putting a band together, if my songs are any good, what people thought of the last gig etc. Why put yourself through it all I wonder? In monetary terms, I can make much more being a software developer, and its a brain-dead job- like working in a supermarket but you get paid well. It must be something about us that wants to perform and find out what we're really made of- with perhaps a bit of curiosity added.

I was roped-in to playing a gig at Cross Kings the other day, helping a friend kick-off his weird and wonderful music evening, and I was quite shocking; but I feel that if I somehow muddle through life to thirty or forty years of age and haven't had a respectable stint in a major music outfit then I would have somehow have neglected something... and what is perhaps at end or just beyond my fingertips is well worth striving for.

So let's not all think of music as a commodity; as something that unless it brings you to orgasm straight away we might as well forget it. Music is not sushi- you can't fit all the ideas, hopes and dreams of artists everywhere into little wrappers to stick in your lunchbox and chow down on. For some, its the only thing that gets you out of bed.

If you agree or disagree and have ten seconds spare, why not sign-in and leave me a comment!